I am just on my way out the door to a dinner party, but I just had to post this quick story for you all!

After living in Foreignland for half a year, and having been with Feb for well over a year, I have become accustomed to hearing and speaking an abundance of culturally different words and phrases. For instance, "root beer" is an endlessly funny term in Foreignland because in that country, "to root" is slang for having sex. They also mercilessly mock foreigners who sport the Canadian Roots brand clothing and apparel. Similarly, the word "fanny" is an innocent North American euphemism for bottom, or sometimes the name of an elderly aunt, but in Foreignland, the word is a rather vulgar one that refers to the female genitalia! (I hope this post doesn't attract any unsavory traffic on my blog!)

Over the Christmas season at the Restaurant all the stores compete to see which one can sell the most gift certificates before the holidays are over. The store which ends up with top sales wins a chunk of money that goes toward a special post-Christmas staff party and awards night. My store has won every year since I can remember, and we all enjoy a night out together where we can be served rather than serving; plus, it's always a bonus to see your work friends out of their dress code. It reminds you that they're human and actually have a sense of style!

This year, as usual, we won the contest. The managers, whose pride was on the line and were pushing us to sell the gift certificates hard, were ecstatic and decided to post this encouraging note on the wall in our waitstation, which I noticed today as I walked past:

" . . . And finally, we want to congratulate you all on your hard work selling GC's during the holiday competition! Thanks to everyone for your efforts- as usual, because of you, we really kicked some fanny!"

I almost choked.

I read it again. This time I laughed.

Too much time spent absorbing Foreignland "culture" has left me with an accidentally dirty mind!